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Why does the death of a famous person impact us so much?

Hannah Jackson-McCamley


You may have woken up to images of people gathering outside Buckingham Palace to pay their respects to the Queen, or spent the evening transfixed by the wall-to-wall coverage of the monarchs death online and on TV since the news was announced on the afternoon of the 8th September.

You may have shed a tear, raised a glass or laid flowers… hugged friends, checked-in with loved ones or even gone to a place that represents the person that has died, unified with others, perhaps strangers, in collective grief.


Yet it’s likely that you have never met the Queen at all.


So why do we feel the passing of the Queen or other famous people that have died, so personally and acutely?


There is often an assumption that the extent of our grief is related to our closeness to the person that has died. Yet like in all bereavements, the relationship is more complex than that. We may not have known the celebrity personally but they were still a part of your life. We have seen this before - witnessing the public outpourings of grief to greater or lesser extents; Diana, Princess of Wales, David Bowie, Chadwick Boseman amongst many others… and now the Queen.


In part this is due to how we relate to these people and what they represent for us. In the case of the Queen, some may mourn not just the death of a monarch but a matriarch at a national and international scale. Many people feel she was a backdrop to their lives and we connect not just to their milestones but also ours. Therefore we reflect not just their physical passing but the passing of our own time.


The Queen is also a symbol of national identity for some in the U.K. and her loss may lead to a questioning of who we are and fears for the future; the end of an era that was heralded for the Queens perceived steadfastness, stability and continuity.


Our reaction to a celebrity death may also tell us something about how we have dealt with our own bereavements. The death of a celebrity may not in fact have much to do with them but be stirring up old pain that you haven’t fully processed. Be aware that could happen and if you realise you have some old grief, it's not an enemy, it's just a reminder. It's knocking at your door, asking for a little help.


Be curious about what is coming up for you if you feel particularly impacted by the Queen’s death or any other celebrity you respected and be mindful that:


  • Though we don’t know the person, we knew them. Through their music, films or presence they may be a regular part of our lives, defining certain moments as you both grow and change.


  • Our connection to a celebrity may remind us of ourselves and our loved ones.


  • Their death may feel connected to a person that we knew personally who died and the celebrities loss may feel like losing a connection to our loved one.


  • We may connect with how they died and may have shared or witnessed similar struggles that bring back past trauma.


  • The person death may represent the passage of time and elicit existential queries about the loss of our youth and the meaning of life.

Here are some suggestions that might help you cope with this intangible form of grief:


  • Reflect on the person through journalling

  • Connect with others who might feel the same way, finding comfort in sharing a space for the person you admired

  • Journal to explore why this feels so personal to you and what this means in conjunction with personal bereavement or loss

  • Step away from the coverage if you are feeling overwhelmed

  • Allow yourself to grieve and experience the emotions that come up

  • Remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve


If you are struggling with grief or are curious about the impacts of a celebrity death, we can talk about it. Contact me at hello@hjmcounsellingtherapy.com to work out what will work for you.

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